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The characters of the fan fiction Group of Weirdos by Mr. Light Chicken Bulbs.
The Links Edit
Link (Hero of Time) Edit
"One moment, we need to climb up to my house so I can get a cheese sandwich."
The protagonist of the series...unfortunately. He is the definition of Too Dumb to Live. While he is a moderately good fighter (he is the Hero of Time after all), everybody he meets seems to forget that and only care about his stupidity.
- Ambiguous Disorder: Practically every "idiot" trope applies to him, but his actions don't appear to resemble any kind of actual disorder.
- Attention Deficit Ooh Shiny: With a heavy focus on the "shiny".
- Beware the Nice Ones: He's tougher than he looks and acts. Nobody cares though.
- Butt Monkey: Mostly due to his own stupidity.
- Completely Missing the Point: Many, many times. One example is thinking something's wrong with the flaming, burning, smoking Death Mountain because it looks a few inches shorter.
- Determinator: Has shades of this. In Twilight Princess, as the golden wolf, he does NOT give up on trying to get the TP Link to howl with him.
- Does Not Understand Sarcasm
- Dreadful Musician: His skills with his Ocarina are lacking.
- Flanderization: He only starts off a bit dumb and quickly turns into an Idiot Hero who walks through fire traps and gets his head stuck in an empty bottle. Somewhat reversed in Majora's Mask, where he begins to develop decent combat skill over time. He's still a moron, just skilled enough to pull his own weight in battle.
- Good Is Dumb
- Headbutting Heroes: Is this with practically everyone who joins him, though they tend to headbutt more than him.
- Idiot Hero
- Insane Troll Logic: He thinks blue fire will melt red ice to create a purple puddle of water. It's actually green.
- Let's Get Dangerous: Very rarely, but he does show his fighting skill when he needs to.
- Name's the Same: He and TP Link share the same name. This confuses Volvagia when he meets the TP Link in the Goron Mines.
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: He gives Bongo-Bongo his dropped saw, allowing him to escape the well. He also calls him ugly, causing Bongo-Bongo to try and kill Link seven years later.
- Out-of-Character Moment: He refers to a "pit" as an "abyss" at one point. Everyone around him freaks out at him using a word like that.
- He has Dumbass Has a Point moments a few times, such as questioning why a shield was in a graveyard.
Morpha: Stop using words longer than one syllable. It freaks me out.
"Think, Link! Hey, that rhymes! I'm a poet and I didn't even know it! Hey, that rhymes too! I'm so good I could...shlood."
- Skilled but Naive: And stupid, and annoying, and easily distracted...
- Trademark Favorite Food: He mentions a love of pizza every now and then.
- Your Head Asplode: Hinted by Volvagia to be the cause of his death.
Link (Hero of Twilight) Edit
"Waaait a minute...I know where this is going. You're using my desire to be human again to make me go on this journey to save the other spirits, aren't you? Don't you disappear on me! Answer the question!"
Rather than the Idiot Hero from Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask, this Link is somewhat different. He's more sarcastic and lazy, as well as being hated by seemingly everything, aside from the bosses (except Gyorg obviously).
- All Work vs. All Play: The "all play" against the "all work" of Midna and the spirits.
- Animals Hate Him: Every single animal he runs across seems to have some reason to dislike him. Lampshaded commonly.
- Anti-Hero: Appears to be a Type II or III.
- Butt Monkey
- Brilliant but Lazy: Not exactly "brilliant", but he is the Chosen One, regardless of whether he likes it or not.
- Catch Phrase: "THIS IS/WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA!"
- Deadpan Snarker
- Designated Protagonist Syndrome: In-universe example; it's him who wonders why he's the hero.
- The Drag Along: Midna practically has to force him along.
- Genre Savvy: He knows it's a bad idea to burn down a web attached to a wooden tree, and cuts it instead.
- Good Is Not Nice
- I Am Who?: He doesn't know he's a hero, and he's not happy when he learns that he is.
- Only Sane Man: Double subverted. He hears voices, but this is basically confirmed to be from Majora's Mask, not his insanity. Everyone else thinks he's crazy for responding to them though, since they can't hear them.
- Polite Villains Rude Heroes: So far, considering how Diababa acts, and how he acts, this trope is likely to be played straight for quite a while.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: Believe it or not, blue. This contrasts Midna's red.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: He tries to abandon his role as a hero once or twice and return to the village. However, it never works out.
- Took a Level In Jerkass: Subverted, as this is not actually the Link from the last two installments. He is still a bigger jerk than the last one though.
"I'm back, and I brought the moron!"
Link's Exposition Fairy. A very reluctant one. She quickly grows fed up at Link's stupidity, leaving at the end of the Ocarina of Time series. She is rediscovered in Ikana Canyon in Majora's Mask, where she was trapped in a jar. She rejoins Link alongside Tatl.
- Beleaguered Assistant
- The Bus Came Back: Unlike in the actual game.
- Exposition Fairy
- Only Sane Fairy
"I'm the common sense of this journey and the one who laughs at everyone when they fail."
Link's second Exposition Fairy, who's even more reluctant to join him than Navi. Being forced to hang out with Link and co. is causing her to slowly lose her sanity.
- Break the Cutie: When the time eventually comes to face Majora she's pretty much snapped and developed a Hair-Trigger Temper.
Tatl: No. More. MASKS. HEAR ME?
Not a fairy, but accompanies the newest Link on his journey through Twilight Princess.
- Exposition Fairy: Not really a fairy, but still fits this role.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: Red, to TP Link's blue.
Ocarina of Time Bosses Edit
"That was pointless."
Link's first Heel Face Turned boss partner. Gohma is the primary Deadpan Snarker and will eat just about anything they come across that's annoying.
- Action Girl: She's one of the more competent fighters in the group.
- Big Creepy-Crawlies
- Big Eater
- Deadpan Snarker
- Heel Face Turn: Her reason is being forced to surrender, accompanying them out of the Great Deku Tree, and continuing to follow them. By the time anyone questions this, she's already become ingrained in the group.
- Invisible Anatomy: Lacks a visible mouth.
- Trademark Favourite Food: Pie, according to her Boss Subtitles.
King Dodongo Edit
"These things have money in them? Link, we must open them all! NO EXCEPTIONS."
A giant Dodongo who does not like being called "Kingy". He loves money and runs Dodongo's Tavern, which is eventually sold to Gibdos.
- Big No: After Volvagia bribes Sharp into flooding Dodongo's Tavern.
- Heel Face Turn: Subverted; he wasn't very bad to begin with. After hearing about their quest, he decided it sounded fun.
- The Unfought: Subverted. He does get battled, but not when expected. When they try to take money from him to pay for the Biggoron Sword, he begins fighting them off.
"I AM BARINADE!"
A...thing who uses electricity. Barinade feels the urge to yell "I AM BARINADE!" whenever fighting, adventuring, or even for no reason at all. He eventually gets the Megaton Hammer, which becomes his weapon of choice.
- Berserk Button: Taking his Megaton Hammer. Doing so even made him refer to himself in first person without adding on "BARINADE".
- Companion Cube: The Megaton Hammer.
- Drop the Hammer
- Heel Face Turn: Same as Gohma.
- Hentai: Zelda angrily refers to him as a "Japanese tentacle fantasy".
- Invisible Anatomy: Like Gohma he lacks a visible mouth.
- Large Ham
- Shock and Awe
- Third Person Person: At times. Even when he does use "I", he almost always follows it up with "BARINADE".
Phantom Ganon Edit
"Why is it called a pair of pants if there's only one?"
Ganondorf's lookalike minion, he's one of the more level-headed members of the group.
- Genre Savvy: He's usually the first to come up with a solution to puzzles; he's usually ignored in favor of just smashing the puzzle.
- Heel Face Turn: Link (accidentally) saves him from Ganondorf banishing him; Phantom decides that he owes Link his life.
- Losing Your Head: A few times.
- Only Sane Man
- Playing Tennis With the Boss
"That's what you get when you say my casseroles suck ass!"
The evil dragon from Goron legends, he has a lifelong rivalry with King Dodongo.
- Heel Face Turn: They trick him into thinking Ganondorf has betrayed him; when he finally confronts Ganondorf about it, Ganondorf decides to betray him for real.
- Playing with Fire
- The Rival: To Kingy.
"I AM NOT A PET!"
Giant bouncy ball, self-proclaimed god of water, eternal Butt Monkey, Barinade's secondary weapon.
- A God Am I
- Butt Monkey
- Fastball Special
- Heel Face Turn: He gets dragged along after surrendering, and stays with the intention of showing the rest of the group how powerful he is.
- Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain
- Making a Splash
- Not So Harmless: In Majora's Mask, once he has a WHOLE OCEAN to control.
- The Napoleon
Bongo Bongo Edit
"Ugly, am I? Well, I'll show you ugly! When I'm done with you you'll just be a hideous crunched up pile of flesh!"
A creature that had been trapped in the bottom of the well, he escapes thanks to Link's stupidity. He doesn't like to be called ugly.
- Berserk Button: Being called ugly. Needless to say, Link calling him ugly becomes a Running Gag.
- Beware the Nice Ones: After mellowing out a lot during Majora's Mask, it's easy to forget that he can and will kill Link anytime he wants to.
- Heel Face Turn: Nothing better to do...
- Only Sane Man: He shares this role with Phantom Ganon in Majora's Mask.
"Koume and Kotake's Double Dynamite Attack!"
Ganondorf's surrogate mothers. Koume has fire powers and Kotake has ice powers. After Ocarina of Time, they open a potion shop in Termina before rejoining Link.
- Badass Grandma
- Fusion Dance: Their Twinrova form.
- Heel Face Revolving Door: They pretend to join the heroes, but it's actually a trick! Except then Ganondorf insults them and they decide he needs to be punished.
- An Ice Person: Kotake.
- Playing with Fire: Koume.
- Senior Sleep Cycle
"Oh well, I just need you now, kid. Then I can get the Triforce and gain an easier and more efficient way to clean all of my clothes!"
The villain of Ocarina of Time. This evil man wishes to use the power of the Triforce to grant himself a new laundry machine. After being defeated, the future Ganon is sealed away until Wind Waker while the past one escapes and follows Link to Termina, where he reluctantly joins his team. After that, he's arrested again until Twilight Princess.
- Big Bad: Of Ocarina of Time.
- Heel Face Turn: Yep, even the big man himself joins Link's team in Majora's Mask. His motivation is to get closer to Link to try and steal the Ocarina of Time, but after a while also realizes that if he doesn't save the world there will be no world to take over.
- Heroic BSOD: He suffers one after a time paradox results in him having four mothers instead of two. He gets better in time for the final fight against Majora.
- The Pig Pen: He seems to think he's this, since his laundry machine is broken.
- Villains Out Shopping: Plenty of times.
Majora's Mask Bosses Edit
"Every notable force in history has had a leader. That's why I'm here. I'm going to make us part of history! We'll go down in the books as the Odolwa Army, the small group that managed to save the world! I, being the leader, will be the most well known."
A jungle warrior who guards the first Giant. He seems to be able to read the game's script, and gets amusement out of bothering Gyorg.
- The Chew Toy: After taking over as leader. Once he gives it back to Link he seems to become normal again (Relatively speaking).
- Companion Cube: The Gossip Stone he finds toward the end. Somewhat subverted, since the Gossip Stone in question is in fact alive (And friendly).
- Fourth Wall Observer: To a degree.
- Healing Factor: He also survives very obviously fatal injuries such as dismemberment and cranial impalement.
- Why Did It Have To Be Ghosts
"I am known to those that desire names as Goht."
A robotic goat guarding the second Giant. It's actually a she despite the beard...
- Cloudcuckoolander: Not usually the case, but her processors get scrambled briefly by the industrial magnets in the Goron Mines, resulting in this.
- The Comically Serious
- Does Not Compute: A few times. Most notably when travelling back in time resulted in Goht fighting a copy of herself, much to the latter's perplexion.
- Robo Speak
- Samus Is a Girl
"Your mother sucks cocks in hell."
A fish who once guarded the third Giant. Unlike the other bosses he remains fully loyal to Majora, going so far as to turn the final battle into a (very misbalanced) Dual Boss of sorts.
- Cluster F-Bomb: Usually when he's angry, which is quite often.
- The Drag Along: Literally.
- Heel Face Turn: Averted big time. Whenever he gets the chance to attack Link again, he takes it with glee.
- Kill It with Fire: His weakness, causing him to shrink.
- Sir Swearsalot
- Terrified of Germs: As revealed when Odowla uses the Mask of Truth to read his mind.
Igos Du Ikana Edit
"I don't know if you believe yourself witty or you're just stupid, but it means nothing in a battle of arms."
King of Ikana. He can't do much as just a floating head, but he does have some authority...
- Authority Equals Asskicking: Even though he's only a floating ghost head, he was able to make an Iron Knuckle kill itself by exploiting his authority over it.
- Breath Weapon
- Detachment Combat
- Nice Guy: Compared to the rest of the bosses.
Red: "Fuck that place and everything it stands for!"
Blue: "Your capacity for indifference, this time toward the destruction of a pollution spewing industrial complex never ceases to astound me."
Two utterly massive sandworms that guard the fourth Giant. Having them on your side makes you rather powerful... usually.
- Attack of the 50 Foot Whatever
- Baleful Polymorph: Both get turned into fairies by Majora.
- Heel Face Turn: After seeing that Skull Kid has doomed them just like everyone else.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: They're both pretty insane, but the red more than the blue.
- Sand Worm
Skull Kid Edit
"What ocarina? There's no ocarina, not this time, nope, not at all."
The forest kid who stole Majora's Mask, setting the game in motion. He's really not all that bad, but the mask is affecting him.
- Dreadful Musician: Just playing one note on the Ocarina is enough to make people's ears bleed.
- The Pig Pen
"FINALLY! It's time for the real show tall white and handsome. Good guys versus bad guys, dark versus light, sword versus whip. Are you ready to rumble?"
An evil mask, it intends to crush Termina under a moon. It serves as the villain of Majora's Mask.
- And I Must Scream: Long after being defeated, Twilight Princess seems to suggest the mask is still alive, but incapable of action outside of communicating with its holder. It doesn't seem to be bothered too much, snarking at the new hero's misadventures.
- Big Bad: Of Majora's Mask, obviously.
- Deadpan Snarker
- Retired Monster: In Twilight Princess. All it can really do any more is rest comfortably in Link's bag and snark at people or give them cynical advice.
- Subverted when it's able to conjure up a sandstorm just to mess with Link, suggesting it still has some power, even if it lacks motivation to do much.
- Troll: Especially in Twilight Princess.
Twilight Princess Bosses Edit
"Oh, right, you humans have this weird connotation with kissing. Man, you guys are screwed up, perverted weirdos."
The first boss to join TP Link; she is energetic and extremely protective of plants and vegetation.
- Catch Phrase: "...Hi."
- Genki Girl
- Green Thumb
- Heel Face Turn: She starts following Link after the battle.
- Older Than They Look: Subverted:
Link: "I'm seventeen, or eighteen maybe. It depends who you ask."
Diababa: "Pff, might as well be a newborn. I'm ninety-six! ...Okay, that's a lie."
- Samus Is a Girl
- Stalker with a Crush: Possibly; it's hinted that she has a crush on Link, and her actual "joining" him appears to be simply following him around after their battle.
The second boss to join TP Link. He's very large and loud and often breaks or burns things without meaning to.
- Attack of the 50 Foot Whatever: He's huge.
- Dumb Muscle
- Hulk Speak
- Improbable Weapon User: Uses a chunk of the Bridge of Eldin as a weapon.
- Large Ham
- Odd Friendship: With Barinade.
- Playing with Fire
- Stop Helping Me!: When he tries to help Link, he usually makes the situation worse, or solves it but injures Link in the process.
- Third Person Person: He has been shown to actually be physically incapable of referring to himself in first person. Whenever someone tries to get him to refer to himself as "I", he screws it up.
Morpha from the first two fics, returned as Morpheel. His eye is separated from his giant body by Majora, and from that point on his eye follows the group around. His personality remains pretty much the same from before.
- A God Am I
- Butt Monkey
- Here We Go Again: Thinks this when he realizes he's about to be dragged on another adventure.
- The Bus Came Back: The first - and so far only - boss from either of the first two fics to permanently join TP Link.
Six Sages Edit
- Nice Guy: Subverted. He is very patient with Link when he wakes up. After it turns out Link hadn't caught a single word of his speech, he finally gives in and coldly wishes a painful death upon him.
- My New Gift Is Lame: Link doesn't think much of the Fairy Ocarina.
Other Characters Edit
Great Deku Tree Edit
- The Alcoholic
- Toilet Humour: Gohma takes up residence in his ass.
- We Hardly Knew Ye: Like in the game, he dies pretty early. Though this is due to alcohol poisoning, not Gohma.
Kaepora Gaebora Edit
- Ascended Extra: He has a much larger role in the Majora's Mask fanfic than the actual game. Heck, same could apply to Ocarina of Time, though he's not technically an extra in that game.
- Berserk Button: Being called Kae Gae or any other sort of nickname.
- Mr. Exposition: Lampshaded:
"I am here to tell you pointless babble."
- Ascended Extra: Saria's unnamed fairy.
- Butt Monkey
- Sealed Evil in a Can: Not necessarily evil, but he does get sealed away with Ganondorf at the end of Ocarina of Time, and no one is upset about it. Except Ganondorf.
- Talkative Loon
- Attack of the 50 Foot Whatever: Doesn't actually happen, but at one point when Link is speculating about what could be hidden in the Sacred Realm he suggests a giant Ingo.
- Humiliation Conga: Hoo boy.