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- First episode: "Son of a bitch stole me gun!" always gets me.
- NIGGA BLIND PEOPLE CAN'T READ! YA KNOW WHAT BLIND MEANS?! IT MEANS YO' EYES DON'T WORK! WHAT ARE YA, DEAF?!
- "Hey, kid, thanks for dealing a fair game." "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!"
- "F* ck you tables, f* ck you plates- ooh, I'll take these knives."
- "Activating Sh* tstorm in Three... Two... Ooooon-NOW!"
- "Is Dio Brando going to have to choke a bitch? [...] Because I, Dio, seriously believe that I, Dio, have not done enough bitch-choking since I've been here."
- "It's funny because there are bitches in the way that need to move."
- "Hey kids, you thinking what I'm thinking?" "Comment special!!!" "Massive orgy- comment special. Yeah. That's... That's what I meant."
- Dio pulls a hostile video takeover on Jotaro: "'sup, bitches?"
Dio: Hey, look over there. It's Tuesday.
Jotaro: DIO! Don't you know that swearing on the internet is a serious offense punishable by ban?!
Dio: Don't you know that sucking my dick is a serious offense punishable by FUCK YOU?!
Jotaro: You....actually saw the Drawn Together movie?
Dio: Hey, you're talking to the guy who set a dog on fire when he was 12. *Flashes back to Danny the dog bursting from a furnace on fire*
Jonathan in flashback: DANNY! You son of a biiiiiiiitch!
- This exchange at the end:
- "Alright Paul!" "You know it man!"
- JOTARO IS THE BUILDING!
- When Polnareff tells the gang they'll go to hell when he kills them.
Joseph: Ha! Joke's on you asshole. Abdul's Muslim, so when he dies he goes to Mcdonalds. Face!
- And as of the eighth episode, it's confirmed!
Abdul: (At King Yemma's place) Ahhhhhhhh!!! I f** king hate white people!!!
- Earlier on the same episode, the whole flashback scene:
Joseph: "HOLY FUCKING JESUS CHRIST HOW THE FUCK DO I FLY THIS THING?! WHAT IN GOOD JESUS- WHAT THE FUCK?!? FUCKING PIRANHAS! FUCKING PIRANHAS!! FUCKING PIRANHAS!! WHAT THE FUCK? WHERE THE FUCK DID THE OCTOPUS COME FROM?"
Present Day Joseph: "And that's how I got my artificial hand. Good times."
- And in episode seven
D'Arby "Do you remember what you were doing August 13th, 1976?"
Avdol "What? How am I supposed remember something so far away?"
D'Arby "Fine, I'll think of a more eventful time for you dut dut duhduhduhdut ah yes, do you remember what you were doing September 11th, 2001?"
Avdol "GO! FUCK YOURSELF!"
D'Arby "Oh, but I DID, good sir! I did fuck myself. And do you know when I did it? 9/11."
- From episode ten:
Dio: * tossing a ship* Enjoy your stay on the S.S. Plummet, Jotaro!
Jotaro: That's a boat-* boat crashes into him*
- "I say he looks like Tarzan / Beats up badguys with his hands / You think I'm crazy, but you don't under... stand."
- From the epilogue, the Tommy Wiseau alternate reality.
TW!Jotaro: Oh hai Dio.
TW!Dio: Hey, Jotaro, what's up?
TW!Jotaro: I'm here to defeat you, motherfucker!
TW!Dio: What? Why?
TW!Jotaro: Because you're the one who killed my grandfather...Dio Brando!
TW!Dio: What? That's not true, I did not kill him, that's bullsheeit, I did naaaht!
TW!Jotaro: You are lying to me! YOU'RE TEARING ME APART DIO!!!
TW!Dio: That's me. (Sees Iggy) Hi doggie.
- Even better when Antfish takes a jab at himself by jumping on that bandwagon.
- The entire Epilogue is hysterical. Especially the Guy Ritchie alternate reality.
Narrata': That there's Jotaro Kujo, one'a da' toughest blokes I know! One time, I sawr 'im beat up five guys just for lookin' a' 'im wrong! That there's Dio Brando, one'a da' toughest blokes I know! One time, I sawr 'im beat up five guys just for not lookin' a' 'im wrong!
- In one of his bonus videos, what Fugo experiences in the mirror world
Fugo: Huh. Well, this doesn't seem too ba-OH MY GOD THEY SPELL TRASH BACKWARDS!!