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- John Carter's entire conversation with the Jeddak of Horz is pretty darn hilarious given the latter is courteously explaining to the former why, regrettably, he must die for having discovered their hidden city.
- John Carter's conversation with a guard in Invak, the city of invisible men, is pretty darn funny too.
Guard: "He is a calot - and I apologize to calots for the comparison!
Carter: "A lot of you Invak are good fellows."
Guard: "Of course we are! Why would you think otherwise?"
Carter: "Pnoxus, Motus, and Ptantus."