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File:220px-Road-house-poster 313.jpg
Everyone walked out of Road House into the sunlight feeling stunned, stupid, a little gay for Patrick Swayze, and wondering idly why they ever thought Duran Duran was a good band. In one day, the 80s were over. Women's hairdos started to make sense once again. Spandex was abolished. The New Kids and Wham! were purged from our cultural memory.

Road House is a 1989 film directed by Rowdy Herrington and starring Patrick Swayze. It is not related to the 1948 movie.

Dalton (Swayze) is a professional "cooler" (read: bouncer) with a mysterious past who is hired to work for the Double Deuce in Jasper, Missouri. In the course of cleaning up the seedy roadside bar, he runs afoul of crime kingpin Brad Wesley (Ben Gazzara) who is extorting from the townspeople. A generous helping of Barfight Fu ensues.

Road House is rated a camp classic not because of its quality, but because it is one of the most implausible films of all time. Much of this is traced to Swayze's character, a modern-day samurai with a degree in philosophy who practices Tai Chi and walks around in shirts that resemble a Gi. A direct-to-DVD sequel, Road House 2: Last Call, was released in 2006 and replaced Dalton with his hitherto unknown son, Shane.

It inspired the Mystery Science Theater 3000 song, "Let's Have A Patrick Swayze Christmas".

Tropes used in Road House include:


 "All you have to do is follow three simple rules: One, never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two, take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary. And three, be nice."

    • Until it's time to not be nice.
    • And no one will ever forget this immortal quote:

 Dalton: Pain don't hurt.