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"I made the zombies! I was never as good as my totally not made up brother Zed, and we're totally different people!—Dr.
ZedNed, Borderlands, says something to this effect every other sentence.
Kro-Bar: Aliens? Us? Is this one of your Earth jokes?Lattis:: You should not have said "Earth jokes." Don't you see how that gave us away?
Fleming:: See? See?
Jedi Exile: Are you responsible for this?HK-50: Defensive Answer: Master, I am a protocol droid, not a well-crafted assassination droid of unrivaled sophistication. To have carried out the actions that took place here would have required an unusual set of skills. It is highly unlikely I possess the knowledge of how to reprogram the memory cores of base-worker class droids into killing machines let alone to terminate the organics at this facility, utilizing only Aratech 500 series laser mining drills and explosives fashioned from proton missile cores!
"Good evening, everybody. We are the Umbilical Brothers, and not superintelligent alien dinosaurs. We do not intend to replace the Umbilical Brothers using their own DNA. We do not intend to replace the front row of the audience using the Umbilical Brothers' DNA.""No, we don't. Shh!"
"Yes, we do."
—The Umbilical Brothers, "Speedmouse"
AUTHOR'S NOTE: The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.Bitch.
Especially you, Jenny Beckman.
—Opening subtitle, Five Hundred Days of Summer
Worker: Tight-looking piece, eh?Worker: Just taking a break, ma'am! These boxes are heavy. I wasn't admiring the view or nothin'! Hahaha!
[Workers are looking up the girl's ass for two panels while she talks to an old lady. The girl finally notices.]
Miriam: Hey! What's going on?
—Fansadox #191: Mad Justice
Sawaki: You got it wrong! Mutou-san, you got it all wrong! It's a misunderstanding! I'm completely normal! [after being sucked by a girl and a transvestite]Sawaki: Don't just lie to me!
Mutou: I didn't see anything! Me, Aoi Mutou, naturally didn't see anything with these eyes!
—Hentai doujin based on Moyashimon
Colonel Sandurz: *opens door* Lord Helmet!
Dark Helmet: *quickly hides dolls* WHAT!?
Colonel Sandurz: You're needed on the bridge, sir!
Dark Helmet: KNOCK ON MY DOOR! KNOCK NEXT TIME!
Colonel Sandurz: Yes, sir!
Dark Helmet: ...Did you see anything!?Dark Helmet: GOOD!
Colonel Sandurz: No, sir! I didn't see you playing with your dolls again!
A silly rumor, really. It has to do with viral contamination of lubricants at Bearing Works Twenty-three. Ah, excuse me -- I mean with the noncontamination of lubricants at... Never mind. It is totally without foundation, the Health Center informs us. And there is no cause for alarm. It is absolutely not true that it causes impotency among males-- Correction. There is no contamination -- but if there were, it would not affect the potency of males.—Ida, Sten
This is not a Hentai. It's a marital aid text printed in the manga style.
Elan: I promise to be the bestest bard ever and never be bad and never accidentally lead you into an ambush and--Roy: That's an oddly specific promise...
—The Order of the Stick: On the Origin of PCs
"They say that the more specific a denial is, the more likely it is that the accusations are true"—Hisao Nakai, Katawa Shoujo
Ki: It's not caffeine, not sugar... not time for Star Wars Episode II yet... doesn't look like "Mr. Colon" is acting up again... could be job anxiety...Ki: Bingo.
Nick:Nope! No job anxiety here! Didn't get an impossible-to-turn-down dream job, nosiree! Not me!
"Contact with the colony on Mars will be shortly re-established, and this has nothing to do with the impending arrival of the mysterious aliens."—Quake II intro
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