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In Show Quotes Edit
The whole universe was in a hot, dense state -Bang!
then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... wait!
The Earth began to cool - the autotrophs began to drool -
neanderthals developed tools, we built the wall
We built the Pyramids!
Math, science history - unraveling the mystery
It all started with a Big ...
—Barenaked Ladies, "The History of Everything", the show's opening theme
Sheldon: I'm a physicist. I have a working knowledge of the entire universe and everything it contains.
Penny: Who's Radiohead?
Sheldon: (after several seconds of twitching) I have a working knowledge of the important things in the universe.
Sheldon: Leonard is upstairs right now with my archenemy.
Penny: Your archenemy?
Sheldon: Yes. The Dr. Doom to my Mr. Fantastic. The Dr. Octopus to my Spider-Man. The Dr. Sivana to my Captain Marvel...
Penny: Okay I get it, I get it...
Sheldon: You know, it's amazing how many supervillains have advanced degrees. Graduate schools should do a better job of screening those people out.
"I don't know what your odds are in the world as a whole but when it comes to the population of this car you are a veritable 'Mackdaddy.'"—Sheldon: Pilot (To Leonard regarding his chances with Penny while she, Raj and Howard are in the car)
"Nerds."— Steve Wozniak
Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an incline plane wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: (Beat) ...screwed!
Sheldon: It's your turn.
Raj: Ah, I'm not interested in playing anymore.
Sheldon: Because you don't have a girlfriend!? Good Lord! If that's a reason to not play Dungeons And Dragons then this game is in serious trouble!
(during a paintball game against the geology department)
Sheldon: (stands at the top of the hill and shouts to his opponents) GEOLOGY ISN'T A REAL SCIENCE!
(he is promptly slaughtered by paintballs)
Howard: Damn them those SONS OF BITCHES!!(he, Raj, and Leonard run down the hill to attack)
Sheldon: (watches happily) If there's ever a Church of Sheldon, this will be when it started.
Penny: Okay shh, Tyra Banks is about to kick somebody off America's Next Top Model.
Sheldon: Excuse me Penny, but we're-
Leonard: No, don't tell her...
Sheldon: ...playing Klingon Boggle.
Howard: What do you mean "aaaw", like she didn't know we were nerds?