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In Show Quotes Edit

The whole universe was in a hot, dense state -

then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... wait!

The Earth began to cool - the autotrophs began to drool -

neanderthals developed tools, we built the wall

We built the Pyramids!

Math, science history - unraveling the mystery

It all started with a Big ...

Barenaked Ladies, "The History of Everything", the show's opening theme

 Wil Wheaton: Did [Sheldon] just say "Revenge is a dish best served cold" in Klingon?

Stuart: I believe so.

Wil Wheaton: What is wrong with him?

Stuart: Everyone has a different theory.

 Sheldon: I'm a physicist. I have a working knowledge of the entire universe and everything it contains.

Penny: Who's Radiohead?

Sheldon: (after several seconds of twitching) I have a working knowledge of the important things in the universe.

 Sheldon: Leonard is upstairs right now with my archenemy.

Penny: Your archenemy?

Sheldon: Yes. The Dr. Doom to my Mr. Fantastic. The Dr. Octopus to my Spider-Man. The Dr. Sivana to my Captain Marvel...

Penny: Okay I get it, I get it...

Sheldon: You know, it's amazing how many supervillains have advanced degrees. Graduate schools should do a better job of screening those people out.

"I don't know what your odds are in the world as a whole but when it comes to the population of this car you are a veritable 'Mackdaddy.'"
Sheldon: Pilot (To Leonard regarding his chances with Penny while she, Raj and Howard are in the car)
Steve Wozniak

 Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an incline plane wrapped helically around an axis?

Sheldon: (Beat) ...screwed!

 Sheldon: It's your turn.

Raj: Ah, I'm not interested in playing anymore.

Sheldon: Because you don't have a girlfriend!? Good Lord! If that's a reason to not play Dungeons And Dragons then this game is in serious trouble!

 (during a paintball game against the geology department)

Sheldon: (stands at the top of the hill and shouts to his opponents) GEOLOGY ISN'T A REAL SCIENCE!

(he is promptly slaughtered by paintballs)

Howard: Damn them those SONS OF BITCHES!!(he, Raj, and Leonard run down the hill to attack)

Sheldon: (watches happily) If there's ever a Church of Sheldon, this will be when it started.

 Raj: Come on Sheldon, it's Star Wars.

Howard: I'm going to press play, I mean it! Come on, we gotta hurry up and watch it before George Lucas changes it again.

 Penny: Okay shh, Tyra Banks is about to kick somebody off America's Next Top Model.

Sheldon: Excuse me Penny, but we're-

Leonard: No, don't tell her...

Sheldon: ...playing Klingon Boggle.

Leonard: Aaaw...

Howard: What do you mean "aaaw", like she didn't know we were nerds?

Out-Of-Show Quotes Edit

"This plotline gets extra props for featuring an extended riff on the novel Flatland, which makes this probably the only show I cover that could even possibly have an extended riff on the novel Flatland."
—from The Onion AVClub's review of episode 3x12, "The Psychic Vortex"

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